Project Self: Worth It

If you've been reading or following me on twitter lately, you know I've switched my game from running (or trying to, at least) to Jillian Michaels' Ripped in 30 program. Husband and I were barely surviving it when we both got trampled by either a bad case of food poisoning or a 48 hour g.i. bug. I think I've lost my weight in food and gained it in water, ginger ale, and chicken broth over the last week. But if I haven't been doing something, it's working out. Or eating right. Or eating. Period.

Jillian would be so mad. 

She even looks scary when she's trying to look sexy.

If you've never watched old school Biggest Loser or done any of her workouts, you don't understand the wrath. When I'm literally kicking my own butt (one of her cardio moves) and I'm about to pass out after 15 seconds, she looks at me and says, "There IS NO MODIFICATION. I have 4 and 500 pound people doing this with no modification. Don't phone out on me," all I can think is, "BLEEEEP. Bleeeping bleep bleep BLEEEEP. Bleeep."

But honest to goodness, when I'm cooling down after the worst sweat session of my life, about to throw up from the intensity of WEEK ONE (people, there are four weeks to this program. aye aye aye!), and Jillian says to me, "Now, take a minute and think of how hard you just worked. Most people don't show up in their own lives..." all I can think then is, "Go me. I just showed up in my life. Again. And so what if I didn't make it the entire 30 seconds in the plank position. I will next time."

And if someday, I can be as inspirational as Ms. Michaels, even for just a handful of people, I'd be so grateful for the gifts of strength, endurance, and word that God has graced me with. Here are some inspirational photos for me to look at when I'm feeling like I've never been skinny, so why try now? Where I am has been a long time coming. And every single place I've been has been so worth it.

Daddy walking me down the aisle: September 30, 2006

Ice skating in Hampton Roads: December, 2006

Scoping out the dining room in our soon-to-be first home: January, 2008

25 weeks pregnant with Little S. in her hand-painted room: November, 2008

38 weeks pregnant: January 23, 2009

39 weeks, morning of induction: January 30, 3009

The day I knew everything I'd been through and everything I'd ever go through was and would be completely, hands-down, no questions asked

worth it.

January 31, 2009

So, if you're down and you can't remember how you got to the place you are today, take a photo journey of yourself over the past few years. Look at where you started. Remember what you've endured. And remind yourself that inside, you are a healthy person waiting to get out. And pat yourself on the back for everything you've experienced... It's what got you here in the first place, but it's also the reason you're turning your life around for the better. Am I right?

Here I am, just a few weeks ago, a little bigger than I used to be, but a lot more blessed than I've ever been. And who cares that you can't see my face? Little S. isn't stealing my thunder. She IS my thunder.

Bluebird Gap Farm - July 3, 2011

A little quote I found on a magnet (and of course, I bought it):

"If you're going through hell, keep going." - Winston Churchill

The deets:

last week - 191.0

this week - 189.2

down: 1.8 lbs

69.2 lbs to go

Did you know that Project Self is a blog-hop? Did you know that I want YOU to participate? It's not just about weight loss or healthy eating? Project Self is about being a better you. It's about taking care of yourself, whether you're giving yourself a half hour in the morning to drink coffee, read, and relax or running a mile a day. It's about getting your hair done if that's what makes you feel good. Project Self is basically whatever it takes to get yourself to where you want to be. Doing a volunteer project? Saving money for your family? Working on redecorating to make your dream home? Link up with Project Self! Just fill out the little form below with your post title or topic, email (that's just for me!) and the URL to your post. The link party is open until 11:59 p.m. on Sunday! Hope you join in!

Ready. Set. LINK!