Monday, April 30, 2012

I Remember When...

In the above photo, I was about 28-29 weeks pregnant with Little S.

I remember when... I got pregnant with your big sister and I was only 24.
This time... I got pregnant with you at almost 28.
I remember when... we felt prepared and things came so easily.
This time... money is tighter and I'm anxious.
I remember when... S didn't move much and I would worry.
This time... I feel so specially bonded with you because your schedule is predictable.
I remember when... all I ate were sugar cookies because I thought I was invincible.
This time... I'm smarter, eat healthier, and move more.
I remember when... most of my friends thought I was crazy to be having a baby.
This time... most of my friends are having babies or thinking about having them, too.
I remember when... there were baby showers and gifts and overwhelming love and emotions.
This time... we're doing a bit more on our own, but everyone loves you just as much.
I remember when... pregnancy happened so fast and seemed so easy.
This time... time is standing still and my body is having to work so much harder.
I remember when... I thought maternity clothes were sweatpants and Daddy's t-shirts.
This time... I take better care of myself and make sure your home looks as cute as possible.
I remember when... stretch marks were painful, but a little bit funny.
This time... they're painful and I know the real truth- they're here to stay.
I remember when... finding out we were having a little girl was the most exciting moment of my life.
This time... I felt the exact same way.
I remember when... I tried to be perfect and always keep the house spotless.
This time... your big sister makes sure that's not at the top of my priority list.
I remember when... we had a master bedroom, a guest room, and an office.
This time... we have a master bedroom, your big sister's room, and your room.
I remember when... I vacuumed just to see triangles in the already clean carpet.
This time... I vacuum to remove the dog hair and toddler crumbs.
I remember when... all I ever wanted to be was Mommy.
This time... I feel like our family is being completed and my dream has finally come true.

Little Bean, 
It may be tough to grow you, prepare for you, and fathom how life will be when you get here. But I hope you can hear it when I talk to you- you're so special, so important, and such a pivotal piece of our lives. Your big sister kisses you in my belly and calls you "Baby Sissy." She wants to teach you how to eat with a spoon, walk, run, jump, and play with toys. I was afraid Daddy would be sad that you were a girl, but he knows what it's like to have a Daddy's Girl and I'm learning that he can't wait to have another. Just try and be interested in his "special car" when you're big enough to understand and it'll make him smile from ear to ear. On warm, sunny days, your big sister loves to go for rides in it with the wind blowing her hair back while she yells, "Go fast! Go fast!" It's going to be very hot when you come home, but I know you won't mind because it'll be cooler than what you're used to in there. I hope we can go swimming before the summer is over, even if it's only in the baby pool in our back yard. You belong here with us and Mommy, Daddy, and S are so excited to meet you. I hope you're having fun and growing big and healthy in my belly because no matter how hard it is, you're going to have a wonderful life. If anything, your family has more love to give than anyone I've ever met. We love you, Bean.

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Just like Ke$ha (minus the craziness and whatnot), YOUR LOVE is my drug!